February 12, 2010

I go to bed tonight with a thought, and a headache. Maybe one is responsible for the other. I am going to bed with an uneasy feeling. As I dive into this world of hair that, to be honest, I never felt like i needed to embrace. The endless pool of raw talent is intimidating at the very least. When you are flooding your mind with these artists who have taken their craft to near perfection, where does that leave you?

I personally think I have a long way to go. In fact, when I get a compliment on my work, or when people talk about the way I cut hair like I have a style of my own, I think they are crazy, I mean I am just doing what I am pretty sure I just saw that other guy do, and for that matter I had just gotten done mentally degrading myself for being subpar in my own comparison of my neighbor and myself. Although, if people do not share my opinion of my hairdressing….maybe im not that bad? Hell, maybe im good? The word “maybe” is the key. If you stop second guessing, do you stop learning? Do you stop feeling the need to learn when you are absolutely content with your work? Is contentment complacency?

Where is the balance between confidence and humility? Knowing that you are good and have something to offer, while understanding that there is an endless wealth of things to learn. I have met hairdressers in my life who were convinced of themselves so much, nobody knew who they really were, and I am now convinced that they dont know who they are either. Was this a front? Was this rockstar facade only a disguise so we dont see the teary eyed toddler inside, the toddler who made her barbie look like Frankensteins bride? Could these people be taught anything? Can you really learn without always being a student? Be humble. Be confident. Be balanced. Learn and share.

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